Happy New Year!

Have you ever been reading a book only to find a large chunk of the pages missing?

The book i'm currently reading (Good Grief by Lolly Winston) jumps from page 118 to 151.

Happy to report the rant of yesterday's post has subsided and am now looking forward to New Year celebrations.

Today we're visiting another cousin: S, his wife A, and their 5 children.

No specific plans for this evening apart from to see 2006 in on the beach.
So long as the rain hasn't started, which is reported for the next 4 days.

We can't choose them...

What is it with family members feeling as if they can comment on an individuals life/looks/choices??
In this case, of course i'm the individual in question.

This evening having dinner with an uncle i've met twice since the age of 2.
Both those times have been in the last few weeks since we've been out here.
So anyway, over dinner he makes some smart comment about about how i'm hardly eating anything but have put on weight.
SowhatthefuckifIhave???

Now ordinarily i'd have treated the owner of any such comment to a verbal crack in the nuts.
But with this being a family member, i'm expected to accept it with good grace.

Bollocks to that.


From this point i'm formally giving notice that the period of good grace has officially ended.
Anyone wanting to step up to the line and air any opinions in a very ungracious manner can take their chances.

Ok. So let me update things.

Yesterday we eventually got to Disneyland.
Even though it's totally cheesy and Americanified it never fails to impress.
Especially the fireworks which were truely spectacular.
The two and a half hour wait for Space Mountain reminded me that theme parks are rather like giving birth: all the pain of queueing is banished from memory as soon as the ride has been ridden.
Well it was like this for me, in the case of Space Mountain.

We also got some new shoes.
J has metallic gold Converse All Stars.
I have black trainers which have 3 white stripes,pink bits and laces.

I also forgot to say that we tried to get into Disneyland today only to find it full.

Going to book tickets online and try again in a few days.
Wish us luck.

To carry on from where I left off yesterday:
Herbal with an H.
Very annoying to hear it pronounced 'erbal.


The very cute elephant you see pictured above is named Becky.
She was kind enough to give J, Mum and I a ride today.

The sign I think very nicely illustrates this nations politeness.

Went to the cinema (yes again) to watch Rumour Has It.
V. funny. J laughed at all the right bits.

Bigger is certainly better when it comes to the movies.
Yes i'm talking about the IMAX, where we watched Harry Potter and the Flute of Pink Champagne, or something similar.

Americans.
Aren't they enthusiastic?
Even applauded as the lights went dim.

About half way into the film a lady came and asked if she could sit in the free seat next to me.
I mean, where was she for the first half??

Another thing about Americans is saying you're welcome.
If you're gonna say it, at least put some effort into it.
In fact saying it any way other than the bland, monotone version i've heard since being over here is just fine with me.

Also. King. Kong.
They're two s-e-p-e-r-a-t-e words.
Not to be pronounced like ping-pong.

I love Americans really.
Just finding some quirks amusing.

Christmas Day.

Met my extended step family today, and what a pleasure it was.
All were warm, sociable and unpretentious.

I hope we'll stay in touch.


Just noticed the time and date are set to UK time which makes it look as though i'm writing this on Boxing day.
Well, i'm not, and according to the clock it's 11.50pm on Christmas day in California at the time of posting.

Had a fun filled Christams Eve.
Visited my cousin and his wife at their place in Hollywood, who are also expecting their first child.
Then onto my uncles.
A particular highlight was the large train set donated for the evening but one of the guests. Her late husband had enjoyed playing with it and she seemed happy that it was such a big hit, especially with the children.
I have a picture of my uncle in a zen like pose which i'll post just as soon as I can get it onto the computer.

These last few days have been pretty quiet.
Mostly because even though the temperature is warm and the sun is shining, I have a cold.
The kind that makes your eyes stream and nose red.
Typical.
Not a sniffle at home.

Went to see King Kong and The Chronicles of Narnia, and have just learned there's an IMAX nearby so am planning a visit.

I'm currently being force fed vitamins.
R, my step father is a serious vitamin taker.
He also has some slightly unorthadox ideas about health.
This morning he stated They've found out smoking doesn't cause lung cancer.
I suggested he must be having a laugh.
Got the impression this wasn't a phrase the Americans are familiar with.
Can't argue with the fact he maintains a very high level of good health, so maybe there's some degree of insight into his views.
Who knows?
I do think moderation is probably key.
But that's just my thoughts, and what do I know?!

Plans for the next few days go something like this:

Tomorrow we're travelling to my uncle's house somewhere in the mountains for a big family get together.
On Christmas day we'll be visiting R's son and his family for dinner.
It'll be the first time meeting my step brother and his clan so should be interesting.

More waves.

Click here to read more.

A poem by the same 14 year old.

Laughter Twinkles
Like the stars
in a night sky


A very talented young woman, i'm sure you'll agree.

Let me tell you about my friend's daughter.
She's 14 and for as long as I can remember has wanted to be a Litigator (whatever that is).
Chatting to her online today she informs me her latest ambition is to be The Sun's US correspondent.
Sounds like a great job, and actually a lot of fun.
I can't seem to stop myself from regaling about the journalistic merits of The Guardian though.

The Beach.

Hard to believe it's just a few days before Christmas.
Especially whilst at Laguna Beach today.
Absolutely beautiful.

Mum and I had the following converstation.

Me: Isn't this lovely!
Mum: I'm getting bored of just watching the waves.
Me: Bored?! If I lived nearby I think i'd be here very often to do just that.
Mum: I'd rather play tabletennis.


We really are very different people.

Big Fish And An Elderly Stud.

Well, today has been a much better day.
Met a somewhat elderly chap by the name of Charles whilst sitting in the hot tub (jacuzzi to us).
He said several things which I consider a bit odd:

1. Before even introducing himself he stated he liked me.
2. Professed to being very rich, rich enough to keep four wives.
3. Commented on how well I spoke english.
4. Invited me to join him for a round of golf, just so I could be his eyes.

So glad i'm not here in search of a mate.

Today 3 people have commented on my accent being just so cute.
Yeah right!

The fish pictured above was HUGE.
Easily as big as my hand.
If you dip your finger in it's pool it'll be nibbled.

Well, so far so good...ish.
I've been spending a lot of time with my Grandmother.
She has a very generous spirit and very kindly bought me a new ring.
It's lovely.

What is it with Mothers and Daughters?
After just two days I could happily throttle mine!
I'm sure she feels the same.
Maybe it's because we're alike?
Although can't really say I can see it.

Hopefully it'll be short lived. In the meantime i'm planning my getaway route.
Just in case.

Greetings from the other side of the pond!

We've arrived safe and well after being upgraded to Economy Plus.
So much legroom even a giant would be comfortable.

Am still suitably jetlagged so will keep this brief.

Super Dad.

My dad`s been visiting.
Today he put up a bed in J`s room and got rid of the other one and two matresses.
Amazing really as he had a stroke a few years ago.

I join you whilst taking a break from packing.
For tomorrow J and I are heading stateside to visit my Mum and Grandmother.
We shall return early in 2006.
I intend to try and update whilst away, but just in case.....

Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year one and all.

Shunts, Ketchupy Pasta and Loos Without Locks.

Well. What a day.
Today I went to see a show in London.
It was a trip organised by a tutor at uni.
It`s Amato Saltone by the Shunt Theatre Company.
A truely unique and unusual piece of theatre, performed within the arches of London Bridge station.
I won`t tell you any more. But it`s worth seeing. Trust me.

I spent most of the day in the company of H. Another student on my course.
H is of Asian heritage and was talking about the problems of having a boyfriend from another culture.


So we went to a lovely italian restaurant.
H ordered a tagliatelle dish and went on to drizzle tomato ketchup into it.
Is it just me, or is that totally wrong?
It`s probably down to the age difference.



Later in the evening whilst using the unisex toilets one of the young men in our party, M asked if i`d mind holding the door of his cubicle due to it being without both a lock and a light.
I obligingly did so.
A member of the theatre staff approached saying That`s not actually a toilet.
It`s the cleaning cupboard. That`s why there`s no light.
M emerged looking sheepish.
Oh dear.

On the coach journey home we were treated to various musical recitals as the merriment continued.
All in all a very enjoyable day.

A good day.

Yay! Got 66% in my latest assessment.
Am very pleased.

Nice lady: Hello Kiera, how can I help?
Me: Well done for remembering my name.
Nice Lady: You stand out.
Me: It`s because i`m older than most students.
Nice Lady: No, it`s because you have a nice face.

Conversation which took place when I was buying a photocopying card today.

How nice is that!

Click here.

Very funny site featuring prank calls made by a Scottish man.

Had me in stitches.

Warning: some of the calls contain strong language.

This evening`s activities consisted of going to watch The Chronicles of Narnia.
Obviously I took J, and aslo his friend (another J).
We met L and her nephew C there.
Great film. Very similar to how I remember the book.
Tonight i`ll be dreaming of Aslan.

When I was growing up my ambition was to be a dolphin trainer.

Open Blog..

Like an Open Mike Night.
But on a blog.
If anyone has anything they`d like to share, hit the comments icon and leave it there.
Haircut stories especially welcome.

It is messages like yours that make the heart leap. I am so grateful to you for sharing this with me because I am sure that J would not have told me! What presence of mind he had to stay calm and to know exactly what he must do. What a lovely boy you have brought up. You must be very proud of him indeed. Kind regards, and a happy Christmas to you all.

Above is the contents of an email received form J`s headmistress earlier today.
I`d contacted to her to let her know how J had reacted when I fell, and how the doctor had praised his actions.
Enough to warm the cockles of even the most hardened cynic`s heart.

This evening J was at a Christmas disco.
He wore jeans with a belt, black shirt untucked, trainers and a black jacket.
So grown up.
He has size 7 feet now.

Have I told you how much I love being a student?
I have. Oh well. Get comfortable because i`m going to bore you. Again.

This time with a list of the most enjoyable parts:

• the positivity of the environment, especially the staff.
• friendly people everywhere.
• the fact that it`s something new and am feeling stretched in many a direction: learning new stuff.
• the opportunity to be creative.
• cheap theatre trips.
• being around people who excel in their own field.

Alas, I have sad news to report.
Poor Goldie, after seeming unwell for a short time has now passed on.

I suspect Norbert may have been bullying poor Goldie.
But I can`t prove it.
However, if it`s possible to gauge fish emotions/behaviour, Norbert`s looking like one happy fish.
J remains steadfastly loyal stating, Norbert isn`t like that to any bullying suggestion.

We won`t be getting another fish to keep Norbert company.

My head hurts.

This morning I managed to trip over my bag and bump my head on the very hard marble fireplace,
So am now sporting a very nice bump.
J called his dad (what a good boy!) and we all went to A and E.
With concussion diagnosed i`m now at home resting.

It was the Doris Humphrey style dance assessment this morning.
Fortunately in the circumstances an extension should be granted so I can perform the said dance at a later date ON MY OWN.

Ironically Doris Humphrey style dancing is all about the fall and recovery.
No problems with the fall here.
Just the recovery that`s a bit ropey.

Am sitting at the computer,
With my mother at her computer.
We`re talking on the phone.
I`m trying to help her navigate around this blog.
It`s taking a while.

Twinkle, twinkle...

You know how it goes.
A very popular rursery rhyme.

I may return to this post.
I may not.

Something missing.

Let me ask you....
How would you feel if presented with a box of liquer chocolates...
Only minus the liquer?

Lizzie (a regular commenter on this blog), and I had this conversation last night.
I won`t tell you what else was discussed.
Suffice to say Lizzie`s a very broad minded person.

Can honestly say that right now i`m loving life.
There`s nothing i`d rather be doing.
Even though it`s new and sometimes daunting.

Over the next few weeks things are pretty busy.
With several assessments and getting stuff sorted before going away for Christmas and New Year.

Yesterday whilst waiting on a platform in the maze that is London`s Underground.
An announcement came out over the loudspeaker system:

Someone`s pressed a fire alarm on this station.
If it was you please identify yourself to a member of staff.
If you`ve done it by mistake please identify yourself to a member of staff.
If you`ve done it on purpose because you think it`s funny then why don`t you go home and play with your rattle there.

It`s moments such as this that brightens even the dullest of days.

Birthday wishes.

A very happy birthday to Hoofie for yesterday.

It was lovely to see everyone on Friday night.

Also birthday wishes to S.

I`m starting to sound like a children`s tv presenter.

Click here.

Did anyone happen to read the Times yesterday?
It featured a touchingly authentic account from a young woman who`s awaiting a double lung transplant.


Now most folk who know me will be aware that the main charity I support is the CF Trust as well as others which raise funds/awareness for cystic fibrosis.
You`ll also know that this came about as a result of my friendship with S, who tragiically lost her life to cf.
But for anyone who doesn`t have a personal connection or knowledge of cf, i`d urge they take a look at this article.

Here`s some links:

http://www.filelodge.com/files/hdd3/46517/Pict0001.JPG

http://www.filelodge.com/files/hdd3/46517/Pict0002.JPG

A random act of kindness?!

As i`ve been sitting here in the library at uni.
Someone has just walked past and placed a condom on the desk beside me.
Student union reps are giving them out as part of a safer sex campaign.
In case you`re wondering.

Today`s only lecture was cancelled.
It`s not really a lecture.
Well actually, it`s a yoga class.
But as it`s timetabled to all intents and purposes it`s a lecture.
Only myself and the lecturer were there at the beginning of the class.
Two others arrived about 10 minutes later.
One had a migraine, so made her excuses and left.
The other said she had an assignment to do so wouldn`t be staying either.
The lecturer made a point about managing her time more effectively and then decided to abandon the class.
Before she left she was kind enough to show me how to spin around whilst spotting.
So at least I learn`t that.
We have to spin in the dance assessment.

A friend commented that this course sounds more like a retreat than being at university.
She could be right.
With dancing and yoga.
Vocal warm ups.
Modernism.
Romanticism.
Symbolism.
Absurdism.
Classicism.
Actually now it sounds more like university.
I would heartily recommend it though.

In preparation for a dance assessment next week,
Our very thoughtful lecturer videotaped us dancing.
So we could see where we make mistakes, she said.
More than most, I really need to brush up on the whole dance.
So I now have a copy.
The absolute shame of it.

Even though it`s hideous to watch, I intend to learn the dance back to front with my eyes shut.

We have two new additions :
Norbert and Goldie.
Yes, they`re goldfish.
Very sweet too.

J named them.

Not been in long from a very amusing evening in the company of C.
Just so you know.

A very uplifting blog post.

"I'd rather have a few minutes of wonderful than a life of nothing special."

My favourite quote.

Just wondering..

... if anyone enjoys dipping their fries into vanilla milkshake?

J`s been doing it for years and it really is very good.

I thought we`d have to speak soon as recently your blog`s been a bit boring.
A direct quote from N. The implication being that I need to gather some new material in order to keep this blog interesting.

Tonight J and I set up a fish tank in his bedroom.
We washed the multicoloured gravel.
Firmly imbedded the base of the plastic plant within it.
Added colourful rocks, tap water and the stuff that adjusts the chlorine levels.
And now we wait.
For approximately 5-7 days.
Apparantly the wait is to allow the whole thing to settle.
Then we`ll get a fish.

Readers of this blog may have sussed i`m doing a Performing Arts degree.
Theatre is my thing, but we also have to do some dance.
Now, let me give you some perspective.
I haven`t had dance lessons for approximately 20 years.
Sure, i`ve spent the odd evening at salsa, and jiggled my bits in a club. But not proper lessons.
Even when I was dancing, I don`t think I was ever particularly good at it.

So now we have to dance.
I was dreading the marks for this assessment, and would`ve been thrilled just to have passed.
40% is the pass mark.
I got 63%.
Absolutely gobsmackingly marvellous.

And tomorrow is our play.

Today i`m feeling pleasantly festive.
Probably a combination of the lights and adverts on the TV at the moment.
Maybe the cold weather too.
It`s time to start the Dreaded Christmas Shop.
I don`t like shopping at the best of times.

Oh yes.
Tomorrow i`m going to be in a play.
Must go and recite lines.

More spotty dogs.

Not a real post.
Just wanted to tease Lizzie.

Camden, red wine and messages from beyond..

This weekend was spent with C and S in London.
We got tipsy on red wine and Grappa ( foul tasting italian after dinner spirit thingy).
Sunday was spent wandering around Camden market- how cool is that place?

Upon arriving back in my home town I met my brother C, at the local spiritualist church.
The service is similar to that in a more mainstream church with singing and prayer.
The main difference being when the medium takes the floor and delivers messages.
Her attention fell to the lady in the red scarf - me!
Some of her message made sense, and quite a bit didn`t seem to make any.
I remain open minded and optimistic that there is something beyond what we can see.

All in all a very good weekend.


A very happy birthday to H for yesterday.

J

This is one of my favourite pics of J.

P.S.....

Isn`t it bloody cold?!

Harry P. and mingling with cockney folk.

Hello my lovelies,

Today I am heading to London Town, to meet with friends C and S.

Last night J and I saw the new Harry Potter film. It`s a long but action packed movie.
I was quite troubled by the amount of very young children in the audience.
I`m talking 2-3 year olds.
Harry P. is rated as a 12A....which in my understanding means that it may not be suitable for those under the age of 12.
J is almost 11, and he found some scenes scary.
Still. Maybe it was cheaper than getting a babysitter.

In the last two days I have:

• rolled around the floor Doris Humphrey style.
• performed Madonna`s American Pie into a hair brush
• sang Baa Baa Black Sheep in front of other people.
• arranged for J to have a Peer Mentor at school.

Lizzie and her incredibly handsome spotty dogs...

..As Lizzie has quite rightly pointed out, i`ve neglected to tell you all about our visit.
J and I went to Lizzie`s to drop off a little spotty gift.
Lucky for us she was home and invited us in.
Lizzie has two very spotty, very handsome dogs. Actually, only one is really spotty...the other is more blotchy.
J was very taken with the spotted ones and I believe left them far more excitable than when we`d arrived.

CF Calendar.

This calendar features young people who all have Cystic Fibrosis.
All profits go towards funding research into a cure.
So go on...get yourself one and support a very worthwhile cause.

It`s been a good weekend.
Last night J and I went out to celebrate the birthday of JW.
I was seated opposite JJ. Haven`t seen him for years so was fun to catch up.
His father used to date my mother. We all once went on a very amusing holiday to Madeira.

In the day we met with M and C in a village pub.
We ate so much i`m still feeling full.


Saturday J and I met with A:her love life is among the most eventful of any i`ve ever known.
In the evening I met up with M,A and K.
J had been at a firework party with his dad and was dropped off to where I was on his way home.
He doesn`t know A and K and we then had the following conversation:

J- are A and K sisters?
Me-no they`re girlfriends, each others partner.
J- oh, so they`re gay.
Me-yes
J-do they have sex?
Me-yes I should think so.
J-when do they have sex?
Me-when they`re on their own I expect.
J-eewww

Today is my 31st birthday.
Yay!

Today a complete stranger told me this story:

Woman buys an outfit.
She returns it a few days later claiming it to be unsuitable.
After getting her money back she continues on her way.
The next edition of the local newspaper carried a picture of the shopper in the original outfit at some high profile function.

How bizarre life can be.

Weekend

This weekend I went out for dinner with a few local and not so local friends. I had a very nice time so thankyou to all who made it a special evening for me.
There was even a spontaneous rendition of `Happy Birthday` in the pub afterwards.
Very embarassing.
Present at dinner were : Y and her SLF, S, A, J and her partner T, C. With a few more folk joining us in the pub.
I have more birthday celebrations planned for this week so won`t be blogging much.

Cousin Nick.

Today is a good day.
I have received correspondence from Cousin Nick.
He lives across the ocean and is notoriously bad at staying in contact unless hassled.
So I nudged.
And he`s responded.
Yay!

Don`t you just love this time of year?
I do. For a few reasons: beautiful fireworks and it`s also my birthday next week.
It`s also Autumn.
Saw a few fireworks last night and am meeting with some friends tonight for a curry.
Yippee!

Sign the register.

Organ donation.
A very important subject.
So go on.
Sign the register.
You know you want to.

There`s a labrador on the worktop.

It`s firework season.
I love them.
Unfortunately my black labrador doesn`t.
Recently I found her asleep on the kitchen worktop.
God only knows how she got up there.
Can only imagine it was the fear of the big bang.

Prize winner.

It must be my lucky day.
I`ve won a dvd.
Yay!

Follow the link to Zoe Ball`s...oops I mean Emma Scott`s site,if you fancy trying your luck. There`s lots of other stuff to look at too.

Mushy peas please.

Tomorrow is a busy day of back-back reharsals so will keep this brief.

Had dinner in a very warm and cosy pub situated at a point roughly half way along the road between my and H`s houses.
H is of H and P fame.( See The Honeymooners post.) She`s a bit of a celebrity and a very lovely friend.
We met at school.
This evening we ate fish, chips and mushy peas. H declined the peas.
I ate lots. H didn`t.
Very nice evening all round.

Chewits. How do you pay for yours?

On the subject of my brothers antics.
As kids he would do almost anything for the small price of 50p.
Once, or maybe twice he was offered this small sum to do a number 2 in a bush.
He`d then take his hard earned cash up to the local shop and buy 5 packs of Chewits.

Glad to be able to report that he`s just a little more discerning now.

Sexpot Sue

So listen dishy Chrissy,
I think you`re cool.
And I immediately imagine you`re dark handsome and tall,
With your brilliant singing and low sexy voice,
Falling for you Chrissy, I have no choice.
Everything I said in this rap is true,
From your number one fan,
Sexpot Sue.

As children my brother and I often engaged in games of make believe.
My brother fancied himself as a bit of a rapper.
He went as far as recording himself onto a tape.
Somehow this tape got into anothers hand and was then delivered in an envelope addressed to my brother with a letter including the above rhyme.

The culprit has never come forward so naturally all fingers of suspicion have been pointed towards I.
Greatly wishing I could take the credit for this fantastic joke, but unfortunately the credit lies with someone else.

Another time i`ll tell you about The Tele Rap.

Stinging pits.

While showering I scratch an itch.
Unfortunately the itch is located under my arm pits (both).
A short while later deodorant is applied.
The pain almost makes me cry.
Don`t try this at home folks.

Miracle of Life.

You may have already seen this.

Bloggety blog.

I`ve just started reading Belle de Jour The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl.
For anyone not yet in the know, it`s a book based on the contents of a blog.
It makes interesting reading.

I`ve tried linking it. I`m not sure what the internet etiquette is regarding links, so here`s hoping access isn`t denied.

Dining out with friends.

This evening J and I met with 6 of our friends.
J was thoroughly spoilt being the only young man.
We ate lots of garlic, cheese and pasta.
It was lovely to see the out-of-towners who`d traveled from afar to be with us.
One of our party had maybe just a little too much of the vino.
I`ll bet good money that the little men with the big drums will be pounding inside her head tomorrow morning.
There were a few times I had to raise a brow as the `f` and `b` words were used within earshot of my 10 year old.
It was though pretty harmless. While I prefer J not to hear such language it`s just not possible to protect him from it 24/7. I think he`s sensible enough to know what is/isn`t appropriate for him to repeat.
And if he forgets, i`ll be there to remind him.
J was a very good boy and really didn`t complain too much, even when tired and somewhat bored of all the adult company
I`m a very proud Mum.

Two friends K and H look more and more alike each time I see them.
Now that K is sporting a slinky European bob, the resemblance is even more striking.
It`s a common lesbian phenomena that partners look more and more alike.

With N I discuss the merits of blogging..
and of how it`s a bit like leaving a series of lasting memories.


A lovely friend S, who almost 2 years ago passed away quite unexpectedly.
S was just 30.
She`d lived with cystic fibrosis all her life.
All who attended her funeral were sent a daffodil bulb to plant in S`s memory.
This was a really lovely touch and for me, ensured that in some way or another S lives on.
During her life S did a lot of writing, much of which can be found on the internet.
For this, i`m very grateful.
It`s of much comfort to be able to read her words, even so long after they were written, and keeps my memory and connection to S alive.

Looking through my old school books I come across a limerick written when I was about 11 years old.

The once was a boy called James.
Who had incredible aims,
He wanted to travel,
Around the world in a barrel,
But he only got as far as Kempston Hardwick.

There`s a vague memory floating around that a teacher advised me to use the Kempston Hardwick ending when I desperately wanted to use a word that rhymed.

When is a bob not a bob?

I`m growing my hair.
Having had short hair for the last 5 or 6 years, this is a major event.
Intending to grow it chin length, or thereabouts.
Several people have referred to the hairstyle known as a bob.
Some* even go that one step further and label it an Egyptian bob.

It`s not that I have any objection to the bob in general.
It`s nothing personal.
But I just don`t want to be known as Kiera with the bob.

So even though it may look like a bob, we`re not referring to it as such.

I`d appreciate your cooperation on this matter.

*Hoofie in particular.

Long lunch.

Today I shared a lunch of pizza, pasta and salad with my old boss, Lovely P. He treated me to a very interesting story of being asked to leave a popular restaurant. Now for those of you who don`t know Lovely P, he`s the epitomy of placid good manners. It`s ironic that he should be turfed out for being abusive, especially when all they were doing was complaining about the rubbish service.
I`d very much like to name and shame the restaurant on here, but am a bit scared about the laws regarding slander.

It was good to catch up with the gossip about who`s doing what and with whom.
Sometimes I miss verbal jousting with The Team and have very fond memories of working in this particular environment.
But it`s also good to be doing something different.

Club shit and other stuff.

What is it about nightclubs and playing crap music?
Give me a bit of cheese anyday, and i`ll dance all night.

My cd collection isn`t really very cool.
Contained among it are cd`s by:

• Celine Dion
• Eva Cassidy
• Alice Martineau
• Sting
• Bon Jovi
• The Beautiful South
• Enya
• Madonna
• Train
• Various classical artists
• Elton John
• Diana Ross
• Michael Jackson

I won`t go on.

As part of the course, in a group we`re having to work on a dance.
Our assessment is next week and we need to rehearse. It can be problematic arranging to get together around everyone`s timetable.
I also have childcare to consider, and the logisitics of a child who goes to school a 50 minute drive away when the traffic`s busy.
I thank my very lucky stars R ( J`s dad) is being flexible and supportive.
Otherwise I don`t know how i`d do it.
So thanks goes to R.

Speaking with another student today.
Neither of us really consider ourselves strong dancers.
Apparantly another of the not-so-strong dancers has been having problems with the group she`s working with.
They`re all proficient in dance, and aren`t being too tolerant of those less so.
It seems very childish.
It`s interesting that even though the majority of the people enrolled on the course wish to go into teaching, and yet intolerance of those not so able is displayed.
If any of the dancers in my group acted like that i`m not sure how i'd react.
But putting up with it wouldn`t be an option.

So far today I have:

• attended a funeral. God Bless Jim.
• missed a lecture in favour of rehearsals.
• sent 7 text messages.
• spoken to a nice lady from the local council.
• swirled around like a loon in the guise of dance.
• been for a lovely walk with my dog in the beautiful weather.
• read 17 pages of my book.

Official blog branding.

The brief was: turquoise and stars.
The blog logo courtesy of SN. It`s an original apparantly.
Isn`t it lovely.
Thanks SN.

The Touchy Manc.

Once upon a time, many moons ago,
A text conversation between two ladies did flow,
One was named the Bint of somewhere down south,
The other a mancunian, the words shot out of her mouth.
So in retalliation the bint replied,
The Touchy Manc is by what you`ll be known when you cross the north-south divide.

De-cluttering the gallery.

Scrolling through the picture gallery on my very modern mobile phone.
I`m struck by the number of obscure pictures.
Being of the never wanting to throw anything away ilk, I have decided to publish them here.
Only then can they be deleted from my phone.

Put your drink down before watching this.

The Honeymooners.

Welcome back to H and P.

The honeymooners spent the last few weeks sunning their way into married life.

Wishing them lots of love and luck for their future.

Just one word.

An email arrives from my Mum.
It`s a forward saying...

Describe me in ONE WORD - use just one word that best encompasses how you see me! Send it to me only, then send this message to your friends and see how many strange things people say about you! Do Reply! This might be enlightening.

One word to describe my mother. Is it possible?
Unable to settle on just the one word I send her several replies of one word answers, including:

active
spontaneous
bossy
fiery


She is Aries, you understand.

Sex kitten.

Chatting online with a lovely woman I used to work with.
She deserves a mention here for being the biggest sex kitten I know.
Men absolutely love her.
It`s sad really.
They become quite pathetic in their attempts to ensnare her.
I`ve always likened her charms to a girl next door. Gone wrong.
All the fresh faced appeal of a good wholesome girl with just enough naughtiness to make her interesting.
She`s currently young, free and single.
If anyone considers themselves a worthy match, leave your details and i`ll pass them on.

Things I like.

These are all pretty self explanatory. The picture above and to the right is of a stocking J (my son) made at school several years ago. Written on the front is My Christmas Wish is Happiness.

Pisces wannabe and trampolining.

I have a friend.
Born under the sign of sagittarius.
Yet, she`s masquerading as a piscean.
I couldn`t just sit back and say nothing.
I hope our friendship will survive this test.
I take starsigns very seriously.

Today was spent in lectures and then watching my son trampolining.
I know: such a full life.

Rated your teacher?

My brother is a secondary school science teacher.

This evening we visited www.ratemyteachers.co.uk and have rated him.
In order to make the comments authentic grammar was abandoned and text speak used.

The X Factor.

Does anybody else watch this?
I`m totally hooked.
Or maybe it`s the lovely Sharon that`s keeping my attention.
It has to be said, she is lovely.
The combination of maternal concern with a sprinkling of the divaesque.

Not nice.

Another friend has kindly sent a link for the x-ray images of someone who rather unfortunately has a dildo stuck up their bottom.

I`m not going to post it on here.

Just for the hell of it.

More cheek.

Clearly some of the people i`m lucky enough to call friends have way too much time on their hands.
Minutes after posting the last pic titled Sunset from Space a text arrives on my phone to ask if the spaceship`s heading to planet cuckoo.
Someone`s idea of humour, no doubt.

The cheek of it.

The very first time I use a link thing on this site, only to be unceremoniously blocked by the site i`m linking to.

So for the next trick, I plan to upload a picture and see if it`ll arrive where instructed.
It`s titled Sunset from Space.

It`s been a busy week.
My first formal assessment takes place in 2 short weeks : a style study (dance) in the style of Isadora Duncan.
Can`t wait.

You can`t bottle it.

Today a very considerate friend directed me towards the loveliness of Sarah Shahi.
For those of you unfamiliar with this lady I suggest you google her.
I will try to post a pic but there`s no guarantees.

My brother is a great mimick.
He really makes me laugh.
He is also very camp when he slips into the role of whoever he`s taking the piss out of.
I don`t think he realises.
Maybe it`s this rather than the impressions that`s so funny.
In a rather conceited fashion he states you can`t bottle my magic.


Very tired so am off to bed.

Out of the frying pan.

Today was a day of no lectures.
Instead I spent it at the secondary school I used to work at to earn a few pennies to add to the university fund.
It was a good day.
The kids were nice.
Some even remembered me.
And a few almost looked pleased to see me.
A slight frustration when it came to visiting the finance office to organise getting paid.
I`m not sure which finishing school the lovely lady working there went to.
But she couldn`t be described as either polite nor helpful.
Just as well i`m there to work with the students.
At least from them a certain degree of rudeness is to be expected.
Sad but true.

When my son arrived at school today he realised it was a mufty or non-uniform day.
He`s in full school uniform.
We live a 40 minute drive from school.
Fortunately his dad saved the day and zoomed to the nearest shop and picked up some appropriate attire.

We Do Have Bread.

A few friends visited my home.
We`d been out dancing and decided to order a take-away.
Our order of unhealthy burgers and chips arrived.
Unfortunately some of our burgers were presented without the top of the bun.
Not feeling very impressed I rang the fast food outlet.
In trying to explain the problem of top-less burgers, I happened to mention we do have bread.
I was thinking we could use slices of white to top the burger.
Some of my friends were listening to this conversation and found it much to their amusement.
I think they even composed and performed a little song about it.
Seems a shame for such a raw talent to go to waste.
So if there are any record producers reading who`d like to post a reply.
I`ll pass on your details.

It reminds her of me, she says.

Does anyone use msn?
Have you downloaded the latest version?
If so, you`ll have winks.
There`s one titled Laugh. It`s of a lady laying on her back, wearing a very short skirt and bright lipstick, cackling away as if she has a python in her pants.
Apparantly this reminds a friend of me.
Is it a compliment?
Try your winks and get back to me.

The Days Happenings.

Today the fun really started.
Listening to a lecturer who performed not unlike a stand-up comic.
Remembering how last year he`d referred to a large organisation on government inspectors as nazi-like, and then had to deal with a complaint from a student.
He may not be P.C. But he sure as hell amused me.

Later on it was a though we`d been propelled 20 years back in time and were all back at school.
This particular lecturer was a force to be reckoned with.
She explained how students were to remain absolutely silent when the lecturer was speaking and went on to highlight the major differences between being at school and at university.
She had a slightly stern, school ma`m-ish quality about her.
Then she drew our attention to the reading list for the year.
It`s 6 pages long.

Disappearing Posts!

Bloody hell! I`ve already written this once and then carelessly managed to lose it.

Today I picked up my timetable.
I feel blessed as it fits in very smoothly around my existing childcare arrangements.

This afternoon found me in an acting class.
I really enjoyed it even with the giggling and continual chatting from some other students.
This is where it becomes very apparant to me that actually I really am soo much older.
I was *probably/definitely/likely to have been, just the same at 18.
It`s still annoying.

I spoke to my brother on the phone today.
He`s just started work as a science teacher at a secondary school not too far away.
The relationship we share is very typical of the older sister-younger brother scenario.
More about Him another time.
I guarantee he`ll provide lots of blog material.

*delete as applicable

Spotty Furniture.

I have a friend.
She doesn`t get out much.
Yesterday she informed me of a particularly hideous piece of furniture she`s bought because it`s just the right shape.
She`s thinking of painting it white with spots on.
I`m not sure it`ll be an improvement.

Outed at the Sleep Over.

Today I managed to `out`myself as a blog writer.
It wasn`t intentional. It just happened whilst trying to play a little bit of a joke on a friend.
Clearly there`s a lesson. Maybe not a Life Lesson, but a lesson nonetheless.

My son had a friend to sleep over last night. Although `sleep over` may not be the most accurate term.
Playing the PS2 and laughing about things only 10 and 11 year old boys find funny, late into the night was the reality.

Tomorrow is the first day of formal lectures. I intend to get the full quota of beauty sleep and apply moisturiser that promises to return that youthful glow.
It may not work but at least i`ll feel better about joining the rest of the youth i`m to study alongside.

Big Bubs.

Well, today began with dropping my son and heir off to football training. At 10 years old, he loves getting muddy of a Saturday morning.
After waving him off I set to town in order to buy some clothing for jumping around and rolling on the floor in. It`s for uni, you understand.
So, after acquiring a few loose fitting items I happen upon the lingerie section of a large High Street store.
Sports bra`s are the name of the game.
Now, i`m a busty girl who loves her underwear.
Joanna is attending to my needs today. She`s very patient and informative.
After trying on a menagerie of under garments, it appears that this large, High St. store doesn`t actually have any in my particular size, which is a rather voluptuous 38 FF.
A rather sharp intake of breath is customary about now.

So what`s a busty-blog-writer to do?
The World Wide Web is my answer.
Can I draw your attention to www.bravissimo.com.

It began.

I have just completed my first week as a mature student.
I`m 30. That`s right, 30.

So, in amongst all all these teenagers, away from home for the first time, is little old me.

It`s been fun. The dance workshops. The Tango! The stretching. The breathing. The rolling around on the floor. It`s all good.

There have been a few interesting age related comments made by my fellow students: in the first I foolishly ask one how old she is. 18 is her reply. She adds, I won`t be rude and ask how old you are.

Bloody Hell! I`M ONLY 30 is what the voice inside my head screams.

The second comment comes from ANOTHER 18 year old who`s getting a lift in my car.

There is a very pleasant Sting CD playing.

Listening to one of the songs, she asks if this is when he was still with The Police.

With vigorous nods to indicate I think that indeed it is.

It`s one of my Mum`s favourite songs she earnestly replies.

Enough said, I think.